Monologue Service

2 Brothers

 

Joey: Yo Parker I need your attention.

 

Parker: And I need a cooler older brother.

 

Joey: Funny you should say that, cause our needs are related.

 

Parker: Sadly so are we. Whats up?

 

Joey: Today I bid farewell to my cat shirt collection.

 

Parker: Your cat shirts? But that's your thing! Kids even call you cat shirt guy!

 

Joey: Exactly! And I thought that it was just a clever and flattering nickname. Then today in gym when we were picking teams Dump Truck was all, “Hey yo, hey hey yo, i’ll take cat shirt guy, hey.” He thinks that cat shirt guy is my name! As did everyone else in gym! So I asked around school and that's what everyone calls me now! Uh, even in rocketry club!

 

Parker: No that's not right they should call you geeky rocket guy!

 

Joey: I know right! I am trapped in an adorable prison of my own making!

 

Parker: Okay so what's the plan getting worked up over something stupid guy?

 

Joey: It’s time to change my image. Cat shirt guy is dead.

 

Parker: Seriously?

 

Joey: Oh yeah. So can you like donate these to charity?

 

Parker: Are you sure you want to get rid of all of these? Even cat riding a hot dog? Space cat?

Space cat 2 the legend continues!?

 

Joey: Please don't mention them by name parker it makes it that much harder than it already is. Cause they’re my kitties!

​

(Then I turn it into a monologue like this:)

 

Cat Shirt Girl

(Walk in reluctantly and defeated/dazed. Turn to audience and drop “pile of shirts”) 

I have an announcement. Today... (difficult) I bid farewell to my (somber pause) cat shirt collection. Before when kids would call me “Cat Shirt Girl” I thought it was a rad nickname! A term of (claw) endearment! Then today in Lab, Heather goes, “I’ll partner with Cat Shirt Girl. ” She thinks that Cat Shirt Girl is my name! (Hurt/shrug) As did the teacher, apparently. So I asked around school and that's what everyone calls me now! I am trapped in an adorable prison of my own making! (Cool/calm yourself) So, It’s time to change my image. Cat Shirt Girl...is dead. (Humble) Can you like donate these to charity? (Half wave/reach out to to each one as you call) Even “cat riding a hot dog”... “Space cat”... “Space cat 2 the legend continues...”  (break down) I can’t mention them by name... (comedy “trying not to cry”) it makes it that much harder than it already is. (To the heavens as you scurry offstage) Cause they’re my kiiiiiiiiiiitties!)